Parents, don't compare your children

There is this ugly trend among some parents. They tend to be nicer to the children who have more financial strength. You see them go out of their way to express unhindered love to that their particular child or children to the detriment of their other kids. I’m not saying that parents should not show love and appreciation to the child or children that takes good care of them. But when they indirectly compare siblings, thereby setting up envy and jealousy, it doesn’t end up well.

Here’s a true life story.

“In the year 2020, my friend S. who is a tiler experienced a break down in his business. He is the first son of his parents, and he has two younger siblings. As it is with most responsible first sons in most families, he was the bread winner. Even though his parents were alive, hale and hearty, S. took over and started paying for his younger sister’s school fees. He gave his parents monthly allowance and also catered for their feeding and other miscellaneous. His immediate younger brother, Joshua also benefitted from his magnanimous heart.

Everything was going on well untill Covid struck, and his business went down the drain. We all know how difficult it was for people to feed during that pandemic. So the demand for tilers reduced greatly. S. could no longer meet up with the family responsibilities and obligations from home. Coincidentally, it was during that time that his younger brother’s business boomed, so S. was happy that his brother can shoulder the family responsibilities while he try to find his feet.

He got the rudest shock of his life when he travelled home for Christmas that year, and his mum and sister who used to be all over him, just did as if they did not see him. His mother served him cold jollof rice ( Nigerian dish) without any fish or meat. He accepted and ate it with joy, but right there in his presence, they served his younger brother freshly made Egusi soup ( Nigerian soup) with pounded yam. Even his kid sister that used to address him as brother S, started calling him S. only, sometimes with a rude tone. J. his younger brother was not left out of this ugly development as he kept bringing in weirdly looking friends who equally dressed indecently to the house. He even brought in a girl to the same room he shares with him (S.) and began to romance her in his presence that he had to leave the room for them.

It was only their father that saw the whole atrocity that was going on and refused to be part of it. He kept reminding them that S. carried everyone along when his business was doing well, he never segregated or belittled anyone, but their mum and sister were already carried away with the ‘big boy doings’ of J. Their father was his only source of succor and encouragement during that period.

The last straw that broke the camel’s back was the day he mistakenly slept off on the chair in their living room. Their mother in a bid to wake him up, poured cold water on him, and ordered him to get inside his room, that his kid sister’s suitor was coming with his friends. S. said that he almost brought down the house in anger. He rushed at their mum, but home training wouldn’t allow him to do anything to her. He faced his kid sister who was already ranting and cussing, but he couldn’t do anything either. The words he wanted to say hung on his throat. He was just vibrating like a helpless wounded lion till their father took him inside his room, and that was when he teared up and wept like a baby. He cried on his father’s shoulder while the old man kept comforting him, telling him that all will be well again. That same evening, he packed his bag and left the village. He did not even wait for the festivities to be over before leaving. He boarded a night bus to Abuja, and that was the last time he travelled home. But he kept in touch with their father. His business picked up mid 2021, and he began to invest in himself. He bought lands in the outskirts of Abuja. He’s currently building a two bedroom bungalow in one of the lands.

His younger sister is now a village baby mama. The so-called suitor got her pregnant and disappeared, denied it and dumped her.

J. is still doing well, but he still keeps suspicious friends, and his womanizing lifestyle has moved to another level. He even challenges his mother anytime she tries to caution him. S. still sends money to his dad. He is the only one he still communicates with.

The mother and sister are still trying to warm their way into his heart, but S. has locked up. He said that he has not recovered from the trauma of the shege they showed. They have begged him to visit home to at least see his father this 2024. He said he will think about it.

His business is expanding day by day, and I am happy for him. His experience is a clear indication that when there are money, friends and family are too, when there are no money, they abandon you like a stray. Many of you reading must have experienced such in a way. TAKE YOUR LESSONS.”

27th January 2024

©By Victor Firdance

Thank you for reading, sharing is caring. Follow us on Facebook and X (formerly Twitter)

Get involved

To help our children with school and therapy, education and employment, we have a donation page where everyone is free to donate as much as they can. Any amount is highly appreciated. More about our community purpose can be found HERE

You’ll get a sneak peak at our new issues, first access to exclusive Merry Women experiences and retreats, and secrets on all the people, places and things we’re obsessed with.Our secrets are your secrets. Sign up to our newsletter to always be in the know!